Not just a question of physical destination. I let go of something recently. I let go of an idea, a dream, an imagined possibility. I thought I was holding on to it to keep all doors open, but what I was really doing was limiting myself.
There was no shortage of people in my life that told me this very thing, but I didn’t believe them. I truly thought I was keeping all of my options open and that this thing was just another possibility.
Like an addiction, I didn’t know how controlling it was until I was ready to know it. Ready to acknowledge that it was weighing me down, costing me friendships, causing me to miss out on really great experiences. It wasn’t always bad for me. I learned much about myself from it. It gave me years of pleasure. Years of laughs. Years of smiles and hopes and dreams and memories. And then it stopped giving me pleasure.
The laughs and smiles faded over time. That’s when I should have let it go, but I held out hope. Days and weeks would go by and I would wonder what happened. Years passed and I started to realize it was no longer a positive force in my life. It was not supporting and complementary, it was draining and worrisome. I wasn’t growing and laughing and learning from it anymore. I was doubting and questioning and second guessing. I never realized how much effort this was taking. How much energy I was frittering away.
I realize it now. I only hope I can repair some of the damage.
So I set it free. I let go of it. A physical and mental act of pushing it out of my life. I have already mourned the loss, in bits and spurts over time. It still leaves me a bit sad, but not devastatingly so.
So. Where to now? What to do with the energy and time freed up by this simple act of release?